Do you ever wonder if your bestest Korean friend is really Korean?!
Are you sure? How can you tell?
With all this hoopla about identity and who gets to claim what, don’t you want to make sure your bestest Korean friend is really Korean (and not Chinese or Japanese or Vietnamese or…white!) Oh, I don’t give a rat’s ass what you are, but I will say to all the people who just assume people’s identity without confirming, go get a clue.
Well, you needn’t wonder any more if your BKF is on the up and up. After reading my handy tips, even you will be able to tell the difference easy-peasy!
Tip #1: Koreans must eat kimchi at every meal: If your BKF disavows kimchi, she is definitely an imposter!
Tip #2: Koreans love to host their friends: Your BKF loves to invite friends over and cook for them. Hopefully it will be Korean food that she cooks, (and please don’t be offended if she tells you that Korean food is the best food in the world because it is), but whatever it is, she wants to stuff your face like the witch in Hansel & Gretel. Though she is not interested in cooking you in her oven.
Tip #3: Koreans are proud of their culture and heritage: Your BKF might be a tad nationalistic even if her family emigrated to the US when she was a wee one. She may not be an expert about her traditional culture, but she is very happy to see it in action, even in the hot mess of Times Square!
Tip #4: Koreans admire freedom fighters: Having been occupied by Japan (and the US military) for so long, Koreans respect anyone who has taken up the sword to fight for independence. For the love of a nation.
Tip #5: Koreans like to be social: Your BKF likes to be social. On occasion, she likes to dress up and go to parties where there will be lots of food and booze––and dancing.
Tip #6: Koreans love dong dong ju: Your BKF probably will talk your ear off on how much she loves dong dong ju and how much of it she consumed after long soulful hikes with her hiking club whilst living in Korea. She may also brag to you how she’s made this elixir of the gods herself, twice!
Tip #7: Disclaimer: If you haven’t figured it out already, these tips are just about me. I can’t begin to speak for all those Koreans out there, and why would they want me to! (except tip #1 might be true…). Koreans are like everybody else––kind, petty, jealous, brave, amorous, poetic, degenerate, prejudiced, overbearing, pugnacious, lovely, gentle, smart, witty, athletic, jovial, cheap, trashy, warm, generous. Human. Just human.