Oriental Tourist

Don’t keep reading if you are easily offended.

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Got pot?

Hmmm, I don’t know how to say this nicely so I’ll just say it: “Stop eating Korean food.”

I know you think you have to be brave and eat that mysterious side dish at the “Korean” restaurant you found yourself in because you read about it in some magazine or newspaper clipping, but martyrs need not apply.

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Soy what?

You don’t really get Korean food, do you?  You think it’s kinda like Chinese or dare I say Japanese?   Hey, it’s okay.  There’s nothing wrong with you just sticking to what you know––General Tso’s Chicken is the bomb, yo!

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Kimchi is not for everyone

I’m saying this for your own good.   Because why should you be confronted with a soy bean porridge (비지) you don’t understand or face the tofu you secretly despise?

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Soya smooth

And I am tired of sitting at the table next to yours as you order Korean BBQ because that’s what you think Korean food is: grilled meat is easy, come back when you can handle mugwort greens and bellflower roots.

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Soya good

It’s okay to acquire a taste for something.  Go shuck some oysters and get an understanding of flavors––earthy, briny, sour, and sweet––that come from nature and not the sugar and salt shelf of your local market.

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Better to acquire the taste first

Push yourself and get over your fear of different textures, fermented smells, and eyeballs (they might appear).

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Happy together

Then you might be ready.  Maybe.


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